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FOTO TAKEN BY MARIAREY NOVEMBER 2008 PRETORIA SOUTH AFRICA
WHEN SPEAKING AND WRITING ON THE TOPIC OF SEXUAL ABUSE OFTEN SOME-ONE ASKED:
"What are the expeiences that formed the asis for your thinking about this subject"
I think the area of sexual abuse flows from or touches on so many larger topics that it is especially important to understand where someone is coming from as ou listen to that person. I am often shocked and very saddened when I listen to women and men who experienced "sexual abused" Often cousellors were warned to not get "hooked" into believing hysterical women/men, I chose not to heed the advice.
1. INTRODUCTION: Please take note: YHVH = GOD YAHASHUA = SON OF GOD SOME CALLED HIM "JESUS"
Sexual abuse is certainly the most extreme and hurting thing that can happen to anybody.
Children and adults, victims of sexual abuse normally live with memories that could keep them bound to the hurt and pain for many years.
Sexual abuse, we believe is the most damaging of all abuse.
That is because the body was built to be a temple of the Set Apart Spirit (1 Cor.6:18-20), to be shared with a mate in santification and honor, and not in lust (1 Thess. 4:3-6) Sexual embrace is never a physical union only; it involves our whole person. To become one flesh in YHVH will (Gen2:24) like YHVH ordained it in every cell gives life to the body (James2:26). * Sexual abuse confuses identity, * Plants fear of being chosen , * Offers no promise of being cherished, * and makes the abuse person wonder how YHVH could allow such a horrible thing to happen.
In the book “ STARSHINE” Written by Brice Taylor, she fully describe how sexual abuse is used by people for the purpose of Mind Control and to get small children to DO everything for this horrific business.
WE HAVE TO UNDERTANDING HE NATURE OF PERSONHOOD. PERSON.
I want to begin the discussion by first considering the nature of persons as they were created to be.
# The shattering of something is better understood when a picture of its original wholeness is seen. You would have a greater appreciation of someone's sadness regarding the destruction of a ming vase if you had seen the vase in original beauty and known its history. (THIS IS STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
SEXUAL VARIANTS INVOLVING NONCONSENT OR ASSAULT/ABUSE.
We can ascribe this as a definite element of injury or significant risk of injury – physical or psychological – to one or more parties involved in a sexual encounter. Typically- and rightly so- these practices have strong legal sanctions against them. Furthermore, these sanctions tend to be enforced, which is not always the case in the milder variants. There is seven forms that I will mention from :”Abnormal psychology and Modern life 6th edition by Coleman, Butcher, Carson”
- VOYEURISM ; scotophilia, and inspectionalism are synonymous terms referring to the achievement of sexual pleasure through clandestine peeping. This is found among young males concentrating on females who undress or on couples engaging in sexual relations. They frequently masturbate during their peeping activity.
- EXHIBITIONISM; (“indecent exposure”) is the most common sexual offences reported. It involves exposure of the genitals to members of opposite sex under inappropriate conditions. The exhibitionist often drives by car to bus stops, schools and day care centres for little ones.
- SADISM; this term is derived from the name of the Marquis de Sade (1740-1814) who for sexual purposes inflicted such cruelty on his victims that he was eventually committed as insane. Sometimes sadistic activities are associated with animals or with fetishist objects instead of human beings.
- MASOCHISM; the term masochism is derived from the of the Austrian novelist Leopold V Sacher-Masoch (1836-1895), whose fictional characters dwelt lovingly on the sexual pleasure of pain. As in the case of the term sadism, the meaning of masochism has been broadened beyond sexual connotations, it includes the deriving pleasure from self-denial, expiatory physical suffering hardship and suffering in general. Example case: 1946 young woman cutting herself insert pins and needles for satisfaction.
- INCEST; culturally prohibited sexual relations, up to and including coitus, between family members, such as brother, sister or parent and child are called incestuous. This can be horrific experiences and bondages in adult life.
- PHEDOPHILIA; the sex object is a child; the intimacy usually involves manipulation of the child’s genitals or, in the case of females victim, partial or complete penetration of the vagina. The child is induced to manipulate the sex organ of the paedophiliac or to engage in mouth –genital contact.
- RAPE; in rape sexual behaviour is usually directed toward a culturally acceptable sex object but under antisocial conditions. The male is the offender. Depending on the victim’s age, such offences are defined legally as 1. statutory rape 2. forcible rape
~ BETRAYED BY OTHERS -
children expected to be protected by parents and YHVH–didn’t happen.
~ INABILITY TO TRUST -
Authority figures not there, they expected to believe, May be they were punished for telling a lie or blamed everything, nobody was caring, loving or protecting YHVH was not a Father figure able entrust the holiness of Set Apart Spirit, through body to a husband – shattered and defiled feelings.
~ FEEL ALONE/ISOLATED IN PAIN
– Pain and anger is overwhelmed.
~ NO ETERNAL TRUTHS IN WHICH CAN RELAX/REST.
– fear not believing not certain.
~ TORMENTED BY EXPERIENCED
- fear overrules any positive memories, captive in present circumstances. No hope for future.
– Fear – even when the abuser is no longer a threat.
~ AMBIVALENCE TOWARD FATHER/ABUSER
- Denial –pain-denial-pain – feeling at the time is the truth for person. Confusion regarding identity- wrong sending of messages.
~ SEE THEMSELVES AS A NOBODY
–violated, treated without respect, defiled, caged in.
~ FEELS GUILTY
- YHVH had designed us with sensitivity for sex, those feelings of pleasure are mixed up with horror and disgust and guilt. “ It was my fault, or Why didn’t I resist or why didn’t I tell somebody?”
~ PERSON FEELS RESPONSIBLE
– Tries to escape the sense of guilt, running away, withdrawal, performance orientation – protect behaviour –suicidal attempts alcohol, drugs, him/herself (head bashing, cutting etc.)
~ PERSON CANNOT CONCENTRATE
- Not committed to school, courses, wrong mind set.
THE PERSONS RELATIONSHIPS WITH FRIENDS/FAMILY.
· He/she us attracted to those who also have a crippled self-esteem- I am a NOBODY
· Turning to ways of protecting themselves and keeping people at bay, poor hygiene. · Avoiding former friends, the church or youth evenings.
· Promiscuous behaviour : need for love is misinterpreted. Need to punish him/her.
· Wrong believe in values of sex. Seeking for wrong people and needs.
· Lesbianism, homosexuality /, looking for a parental model.
THE SEXUAL ABUSE PERSONS ESCAPE MECHANISMS.
– this is used regularly to cope with the abuse experience, later addictions.
· Sexual frigidity
– as a result of suppressed inner vows never to be vulnerable, victim is unable to enjoy sexual relationships with marital partner.
– the abuse person looses any conscious memory of the trauma.(DID)
– the person may be turn back to the childhood state in order to avoid the pain of being abused, or even could spontaneously relive the childhood or other abuse trauma. In cases in satanic ritual abuse it can be very complicated and the person can have strongholds.
LUST AND SEXUAL BONDAGES. HELPFULL CHECK LIST:
· Do you have lustful thoughts, frequently?
· To your knowledge, was there evidence of lust in your parents, grandparents/further back?
· Do you frequently masturbate/ do you know why/do you feel it is a compulsive problem?
· Were you ever sexually molested by someone outside your family as a child or teenage? By whom /more than once/ were you actually raped?
· Have you ever been a victim of incest by a family member?
· Men: Have you ever molested or raped anyone? Names/committed incest? Women: Have you ever been raped/ names?
· Have you ever committed fornication (single persons)?How many partners/names/when? With prostitutes? How many/when? Have you ever committed adultery?(at least 1 married partner) /name/when/are you currently involved in an illicit sexual relationship? Are you willing to break it off? · Have you ever had homosexual or lesbian desires? Do you now? Experience? (1Cor.6:12-20) · Are you sexually frigid (married women only)?
· Have you ever sexually fantasized about an animal? Committed a sex act(bestiality) with an animal? Name all animals involved.
· Has pornography ever attracted you/how did you become involved/have you seen porn movies/Videos/live sex shows/rent videos currently/cannel on your home TV?
· Have you ever been involved in oral sex? With whom?
· Have you ever been involved in anal sex? With whom?
· Women: Have you ever had an abortion/how many/give dates and names of fathers?
* Men: have you ever fathered a child that was forcefully aborted/how many/give dates names of mothers?
· Have you been plagued with desires of having sex with a child (Paedophilia?) have you actually done so?
· Have you had inner sexual stimulation and climax out of your control, especially at night/do you have dreams of a personage approaching and asking to have sex with you or just doing it, and you feel a presence in bed with you then wake up with a sexual climax?
· Have you ever gone to a massage parlour and been sexual stimulated? · How would you describe your sexual relationship with your spouse?
· Have you ever been sexual abuse in satanic rituals /as child/still/when?
I want to make personal comments as follow:
Even after prayer / counselling is needed to change stubborn patterns and manners.
Women are often guilty of using sex as a weapon, by withholding it for their own purposes.
Men can be unkind, demanding and careless.
When it comes to having the skills to be romantic they are clueless.
Our society has so conditioned men that they often demand sex from the time they are teenagers and are determined to get it at whatever cost.
Romance for many is unknown because they don’t have role models in their homes.
HEALING FOR THE ABUSER.
FROM THE BELIEVERS IN YHVH THE MOST HIGH GOD ;
They need unconditional love and loving confrontation, /we hate what was done but we love you. We must be full of compassion and forgiveness.
We must give friendship and support, the most special way to help is through intercessory prayer and commitment.
HEALING FROM A COUNSELOR ;
· Recognition of root causes of problems (Luke 6:43-45 & Eph. 5:13) · Help them to full acknowledgment and confession of sins (James 5:16)
· Abuser is not alone responsible, /abuser should ask forgiveness from victim injured (1 Cor12:26a)
· Help to forgive those who wounded person in childhood (Matt. 6:14-15) Encouragement to repent and ask forgiveness for sinful responses to hurts (1 John 1:9) · Assurance of forgiveness- pray aloud for healing the wounded spirit and creation of a new person.
· Prayers have to be aloud to bring to death structures in the “old sinful man” (Col 3:1-6) · Don’t push it, do not touch unless clearly invited, be available – and pray.
· Listen, rebuild a sense of justice and comfort. · Declare dead the lies about the person and inner vows
· Separate the person’s body / soul and spirit from the abuser.
· Teaching person disciplines to walk in the new way (Rom.6:11-14 Hebr. 12:10b)
· Teaching person about the laws of YHVH, sanctity of marriage /holiness of sex/functions of a father’s love/ blessings of self –sacrifice and the meaning of corporate-ness.
· Praying that YHVH will free him/her to grow to maturity through love and learning.
· Counsellor discernment to determine when the abuser comes to true repentance and is capable to lice a life which produces the fruit of repentance season after season (Matt. 3:8)
The wounds of sexual abuse are deep and scarring, and the sexual abuser must be disciplined FOR His offence. But we must remember that we are dealing with one who wounded others out of his: Own wounded-ness, and that his discipline should not be a means for our revenge, but for good.
The abuser needs to be held accountable and made to suffer enough of the consequences of his Actions to write YHVH’s lessons upon his heart.
But as Believers in Yaweh we are called not only to rebuke Brother who sins but also to forgive him. As we minister to sexual abusers, we must examine our Own hearts to ensure our motivations are in tune with the will and the motivation of YHVH. (Romans 2:4) 1 Cor. 6:9-11 gives this assurance to those who are forgiven. “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of YHVH Be not deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor revilers, nor extortionists, shall inherit the Kingdom of YHVH.
And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the YAHASHA, and by the SET APART SPIRIT OF YHVH”
PLEASE TAKE NOTE THIS PAGE IS STILL UNDER CONTRUCTION.
Latest page update: made by Mariarey
, Jan 7 2009, 2:48 PM EST
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Keyword tags: Abnormal - sexual abuse -hurt
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